This Sporting Life
by netgirly2k
Summary: Sarah Jane thought that she had quite enough troubles already, what with the bright purple maneating aliens living in the Thames. Then the Doctor turned up with a new face, an inexplicably northern accent and a sex crazed American in tow.


It was six months after the invasion of the Daleks and the Cybermen and to look around London you really couldn't tell that anything had happened. The government had acted with previously unimagined efficiency to get the wreckage cleared away, and several of the biggest gas companies in the south east had paid billions in compensation for the 'gas explosions' that had caused such carnage all over the city.

Life was also returning to normal for Sarah Jane Smith, or as normal as her life ever had been. She was currently investigating UFOs that had been sighted over the river, and getting nowhere. Ever since the entire population of London had gone into a sort of collective denial about having seen several thousand Daleks appear in thin air over Canary Wharf it was harder than ever to get people to talk to a complete stranger about having seen lights in the sky.

It was one AM and after a long day of getting strange looks and being escorted off the premises of almost every agency she could think of that might be involved in her current lights-over-the-Thames mystery, Sarah woke suddenly, convinced that she had just heard her front door opening. Strange because nobody had keys to Sarah's house except her. She slipped out of bed, pulled a robe on over her red and white striped Marks and Spencer's pyjamas, and crept towards the top of the stairs. Unlike most self respecting single women Sarah did not have a cricket bat secreted away next to her bed, what she did have however, was a robot dog with a laser attachment.

Sarah reached the bottom of the stairs, managing to avoid stepping on any of the ones that creaked audibly and listened keenly, she couldn't hear anything.

She sighed and decided that she was getting paranoid in her old age, and while she was feeling decisive she also decided that she would have a cup of tea seeing as she was up anyway.

"K-9, put the kettle on," she said, crossing the hall to the kitchen and flicking the light switch up.

Sarah yelped and jumped back into the hallway, clutching her robe closed at the neck. Turning the kitchen light on had revealed a man in her kitchen, strangely enough he was crouched over K-9, trying to prise open the side panel that led to his circuitry.

"Hey, relax," the man said in a strong American accent, turning to face her and flashing the sort of smile that was rarely seen outside of toothpaste adverts.

If Sarah had ever given any thought to what the sort of man who broke into people's houses in the middle of the night to rewire their robot dogs might look like - which she hadn't - she wouldn't have thought they'd look anything like this man. He had very white teeth, very blue eyes, very black hair and he was holding his hands out to her in the universal gesture of please-don't-scream. He was also trying to explain.

"Sorry to just drop in on you like this, only I picked up the robot's signal, didn't realise it was an antique-"

It was possible that his explanation had been about to get much more eloquent and convincing, unfortunately he was stopped in his tracks when Sarah Jane ordered K-9 to stun him and he collapsed face first onto the kitchen floor.

Sarah looked down at the unconscious American and tried to decide what to do. She could call the police and tell them he'd broken in, which had the obvious advantage of being true, unfortunately it would also involve trying to explain how she'd knocked him cold with a laser that wasn't supposed to exist yet. Or she could wake him up and try to find out what he thought he was doing in her house.

She was leaning towards ordering K-9 to keep him in the kitchen and going back to bed for a few more hours sleep when she heard someone moving about in her front garden.

"Stay here," she told K-9 and headed out into the hallway, looking nervously at the figure she could see through the glass of the front door. Before she was halfway down the hall there was a click and the front door swung open to reveal a tall man with short brown hair wearing a battered leather jacket standing in the doorway.

Sarah Jane Smith had been an investigative journalist for most of her adult life and she prided herself on having excellent powers of observation. So she was sure that given another couple of seconds she would have taken in the sonic screwdriver in the man's hand, the slightly otherworldly look in his eyes and the look of thrilled recognition that came over his face as soon as he clapped eyes on her and worked it out.

As it happened she didn't get a couple of seconds because as soon as the door was open the man took two quick steps towards her, picked her up and swung her round in a semi-circle, depositing her so that she was facing the stairs and he the front door.

"Sarah Jane Smith!" he exclaimed in a surprisingly northern accent.

"Doctor?" she asked, almost sure it was him but not wanting to get her hopes up. Not after she'd finally stopped looking over her shoulder for the Doctor's ghost.

"Who else were you expecting?"

Before Sarah could reply that it was one o'clock in the morning and she hadn't really been expecting anyone she found herself swept up in the air again and deposited back in her original position.

The Doctor pushed back from her, his hands on her shoulders, and Sarah got her first good look at this regeneration, not as pretty as the one she'd met at the school but handsome in an unconventional way. In addition to the short brown hair he had a large nose and ears you could probably pick up FM radio on. But it was his smile that really grabbed her attention, his wide, slightly dopey, face splitting grin that reminded her of the man she'd travelled with the longest, the one she once described as 'all teeth and curls.' Yes, definitely the Doctor.

"You've regenerated," she said, at the same time as he said "You've gotten old."

"Hey!"

"Course I regenerated, you didn't think I was going to keep that daft old mug for two hundred years."

"It's been two hundred years since we saw each other at the school?" Sarah asked, deciding that under the circumstances it was probably best to find out what on earth was going on before getting cross with the Doctor for calling her old.

"What school?"

"You know, with the krillitanes?" perhaps he was going senile, Sarah thought, it might be nice not to be the only one getting old.

The Doctor looked down at the floor, then at a point slightly over Sarah's left shoulder, "I don't think that's happened to me yet. Oh, bugger, probably doing irreparable damage to the timeline."

Then he was looking Sarah straight in the eye and the ear to ear grin was back, "Oh well, fantastic to see you. Got any tea?" And he wandered off into the kitchen. He was already through the door by the time Sarah remembered that she had an unconscious man on the kitchen floor, and not in the good sort of way.

When Sarah finally plucked up the courage to go into the kitchen and attempt to explain matters the Doctor was crouched on the floor, one hand feeling the pulse of the unconscious man and the other scratching K-9 behind the sensors just where he liked it.

"Sarah, d'you want to explain why there's an unconscious man on your kitchen floor?"

"He was attempting to interface with this unit's systems," K-9 piped up helpfully.

"Jack, Jack, Jack," the Doctor admonished the unconscious man, shaking his head.

"You know him?" Sarah asked.

"Who, Jack? Course I do, go back ages me and Jack. Well about three weeks, actually more like two. Any chance of that tea?"

"Sure, sorry about him, it's just that he broke in and he rather startled me."

"I'll ask him what all that was about when he wakes up, actually better make that tea a coffee, bring him round sooner."

"K-9, put the kettle on," Sarah said, sitting down at the kitchen table and trying to decide if there was any way things could get more peculiar. K-9 rolled into Jack's ribs twice before trundling back and around him to reach the kettle.

"I shouldn't really be asking you about anything that's going to happen to me when I see you next, ripping apart the fabric of time, the universe exploding and all that. Not to mention ruining the surprise," the Doctor dropped into the chair opposite Sarah, "but this future regeneration of mine?"

"Yes?" Sarah asked, wondering how he could talk so calmly about his own inevitable death.

"What were his ears like?"

"I didn't really notice."

"Oh, brilliant, you'd have thought by my age I'd have learned to pay more attention when I regenerated, but I still end up with ears you could use as transmitters."

"I think your ears are lovely, they may even be your best feature," the man on the kitchen floor had woken up and was stretching languorously, sprawled against the cupboard under the sink, "is that coffee I can smell?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Jack, this is Sarah Jane Smith, Sarah, this is-"

"Captain Jack Harkness, at your service," Jack had slid across to Sarah, managing to look quite smooth for someone sitting on a kitchen floor, taken her fingers and kissed the back of her hand.

The Doctor cleared his throat, "Sarah was wondering if you had a reason for breaking into her house other than to molest her dog."

"Hey, you said to scan for tech that didn't belong in this time frame. Well, that most certainly doesn't belong in this time frame." He cast an apologetic look at Sarah, "no offence intended, he's a very nice metal dog."

"Very nice!" the Doctor exclaimed, "K-9 was the height of technology in the year 5000. He's in this time because I gave him to Sarah, as a present," he grinned at Sarah looking pleased with himself.

Jack jumped to his feet and began pouring out three coffees, all the time muttering under his breath about how he didn't consider a robotic dog to be a particularly appropriate romantic gift.

"I prefer flowers," Jack said, sitting at the table, pulling his chair close so his leg was pressed against Sarah's. "So how do you know this joker?"

"Sarah used to be my travelling companion," the Doctor said.

"It was a long time ago now," Sarah said.

"Nonsense, remember it like it was yesterday. You were brilliant," he said, beaming at Sarah, "honestly, one of the best."

"Was she now?" Jack said speculatively, Sarah could swear she could feel Jack's foot running up the back of her calf.

"What were you looking for when you picked up K-9's signal?" Sarah asked, attempting to distract herself from the fact that it suddenly seemed very warm for the middle of November.

The Doctor launched into a very long and complex story about these aliens who were sucking the pollution out of the Thames to use as a food source, which would be all well and good if there wasn't a rogue faction of them taking the odd human as an appetiser.

"I have this excellent plan for dealing with them," Jack said.

"My plan," the Doctor chimed in.

"We have this excellent plan," Jack corrected without missing a beat, "but it's a three man job and our other travelling companion is in the TARDIS medical bay after _someone_ forgot to tell her that these aliens might be dangerous-"

"Is it my fault if you apes have problems with the phrase 'duck now!'" the Doctor exclaimed indignantly.

"Anyway, seeing as you have experience with these things…" Jack trailed off with a suggestive wink that implied he was inviting her to bed rather than to risk her skin fighting off an alien invasion.

"What do you think, Doctor?"

"Just like old times, eh?" the Doctor said, bounding to his feet and extending his hand to Sarah.

"Doctor, don't you think I should get dressed first"

"Aren't you?" He peered at Sarah's pyjamas and bathrobe and shrugged, "always was a bit difficult to tell with you," he sank back down into his seat and crossed his arms, managing to give off the impression that he was doing Sarah a huge favour in allowing her to put on some proper clothes before whisking her off to face some mortal danger.

When Sarah returned down the stairs she was dressed in jeans, boots, a jumper and a leather jacket, which she considered altogether more appropriate attire for running away from things in. However much she'd romanticised her travels in the TARDIS it was impossible to forget that there had been a lot of mortal danger and running for her life involved. The Doctor was waiting impatiently at the door, ready to hustle her and Jack outside.

"Wait here, K-9," Sarah ordered.

"Entreat mistress," K-9 implored. Although he was a very advanced computer, his canine programming balked at the sight of three humanoids heading out into the fresh air without him.

"I'll walk you in the morning," Sarah promised.

The Doctor was surging ahead of Sarah and Jack as he strode along the street, when he reached back and caught hold of Sarah's wrist she assumed he was just pulling her level with him but instead he twined his fingers through hers and swung their joined hands playfully between them. Jack caught up with them and offered his arm to Sarah, which she accepted.

"Now," the Doctor said, "this shouldn't be too difficult as long as certain people can avoid being knocked out by robot dogs-"

"Hey!" Jack exclaimed indignantly, Sarah laughed.

"or being hypnotised," the Doctor finished. Sarah's laughter turned into a coughing fit, the Doctor thumped her on the back then took her hand again, speeding up so they rounded the corner at the end of the street at a virtual jog.

They continued in companionable silence for some time. Sarah didn't object as Jack moved closer to her as they walked until almost their entire bodies were touching, in fact she found herself holding on tightly to his arm. Well, she told herself, Jack was warm and it was the middle of an English November night, she didn't want to get ill. The Doctor's hand was cold, his skin had been cold to the touch in every regeneration she'd known, but she couldn't bring herself to let go.

"How long did you two travel together for?" Jack asked, his breath was warm against her cheek.

Sarah found herself jerked away from Jack and closer to the Doctor, "Jack, stop flirting with Sarah, she doesn't appreciate it."

Sarah was about to say that actually she appreciated it quite a bit when the night was pierced by a shriek and the three of them were forced into a crouch by the roar of a spaceship whipping past overhead.

"Fantastic!" the Doctor exclaimed, jumping up and racing in the direction the ship was heading, tugging Sarah along behind him. Jack was running ahead of them, gun pulled out and coat whipping behind him. Rounding a corner they found a young woman crouched among some bins, bleeding from several nasty gashes across her face. Several feet away something large and purple with one eye was clutching its shoulder while Jack levelled an old fashioned looking pistol at it. It was the sort of gun that looked like it belonged in a world war two exhibit, but despite its apparent age it seemed to be doing its job in keeping the purple alien at bay.

The Doctor dropped Sarah's hand and went to stand between Jack and the alien, "So how do you fancy taking us to your leader? Oh, pay no attention to Jack here-"

Sarah crouched next to the injured woman. "Are you alright?" she asked trying to get a good look at the woman's wounds, nasty as they looked they didn't appear to be too deep.

"Yes, I think so. What happened, what is that thing?"

"Sarah," the Doctor called, "this nice bloke, Grash was it? says he'll take us to their leader, we're just waiting for you."

The injured woman grasped tightly onto Sarah's arm, "Don't go, those things are dangerous."

"Oh, I'll be alright." Sarah dug into her jacket pocket and succeeded in coming up with a ten pound note, "Here, there's a taxi rank just over there, get one to the nearest A&E." She gave the woman what she hoped was a comforting smile and headed over to the Doctor and Jack where she felt the familiar tug of a transmat beam.

---

This seemed very familiar. Sarah's wrists were bound together, as were her ankles. Her bound wrists were behind her back and tied to the wrists of the Doctor and Jack.

"I think Grash might have been lying when he said their leader wouldn't hurt us," the Doctor said.

"D'you think?!" Jack yelled, squirming to try and free himself from his bonds.

"This seems very familiar," Sarah said, for lack of anything more useful to say.

"Did you get tied up a lot when you travelled with the Doctor then?" Jack asked.

"Oh, all the time," Sarah would have given examples but they were too numerous and embarrassing to name.

"You lucky dog, Doctor," Jack said. "You know, he never ties me up, I've begged and begged."

"As much as I hate to interrupt you two, we are currently tied up on an alien spaceship parked under the Thames."

Before either Sarah or Jack could point out that they had noticed the being tied up, from the rope burns on their wrists if nothing else, one of the purple skinned aliens walked into their cell, "which one of you is the Doctor?"

"That's me, I'm the Doctor, last time I checked anyway," the Doctor said cheerfully. Sarah supposed that the reason he was so cheerful was that he was being untied and led from the room while she and Jack were left tied back to back in their barren cell.

"This is part of your excellent plan then, is it?" Sarah asked. She could feel Jack writhing in an attempt to release himself from their bonds. Suddenly Sarah could no longer feel Jack against her back, his handsome face appeared in front of hers and he was holding up his freed hands.

"Of course it's all part of the plan," Jack set about untying Sarah's ankles.

"How did you get free?"

"Ah, I'm a very flexible man," Jack was leaning over Sarah, his arms wrapped around her to get at her bound wrists, "what about you?"

Sarah rubbed at her newly freed wrists, "I think that's for me to know-"

"And me to find out," Jack interrupted hopefully.

"Shouldn't we be getting after the Doctor?"

"Oh yeah, the Doctor," Jack bounced to his feet and chivalrously offered his hand to help Sarah to hers. They ran out of their cell and through dull grey hexagonal corridors. The design of alien spaceships never seemed to change, Sarah mused.

They stopped at a set of double doors, "Stand guard," Jack ordered, "let me know if anyone comes."

"How," Sarah demanded, "hoot like an owl?"

"If you like, or you could just shout," Jack disappeared through the doors leaving Sarah alone in the corridor, muttering under her breath about men, Time Lords and the general unfairness of always being left to stand watch.

"Sarah! Where's Jack?" The Doctor rounded the corner at speed, only just managing to stop before he collided with her.

"In there, what's going on?"

"Jack!" the Doctor bellowed, thumping the door, "get out here."

"What's wrong?" Jack demanded, exiting back into the corridor

"Slight change of plan, run for your lives," with that he grabbed Sarah's hand, got hold of Jack's upper arm and wrenched them both down the corridor. Away from the sound of what Sarah was almost certain was a horde of purple skinned aliens chasing after them.

"What was wrong with the original plan?" Jack asked, much to Sarah's annoyance he didn't sound remotely out of breath as they ran hell for leather through the ship.

"Remember how we thought only some of the aliens wanted to eat humans and the rest of them were friendly?" The Doctor didn't sound at all out of breath either. Stupid respiratory bypass system, Sarah thought clutching at the painful stitch in her side.

"Uh huh."

"Turns out we were wrong, all of them want to eat humans."

Sarah would have pointed out that it was really the Doctor who had been wrong about the aliens rather than her or Jack but she found herself unable to talk, or really do anything other than focus on running and keeping close enough to the Doctor to avoid having her arm pulled out of the socket.

"In here," the Doctor ordered, pushing her and Jack ahead of him into a small room and shoving them onto the transmat platform they'd appeared on earlier. He dashed over to the controls and started jabbing at them in what Sarah could only hope was a less random fashion than it looked. Seeming convinced that he had set the right co-ordinates the Doctor leapt onto the platform, slung one arm around Sarah, one around Jack and grinning manically at them exclaimed, "Fantastic, isn't it?"

Sarah's sides were killing her, her legs were agony, she could hardly breath and they were still trapped on a spaceship with a load of aliens who seemed to regard the human race as some kind of entree. But she couldn't help but concede that it was a little bit fantastic.

The transmat beam activated and they disappeared just as five angry looking purple aliens carrying what looked suspiciously like cattle prods appeared in the doorway. They reappeared in Sarah's kitchen, three cups of cold coffee on the table and K-9 swivelling his ears in greeting. Apparently the Doctor could set the transmat co-ordinates much more successfully then he had ever been able to set the TARDIS's. Sarah had been momentarily worried that they'd materialise in Aberdeen.

"Has the ship been destroyed?" Jack asked.

"Nope," the Doctor said looking ridiculously pleased with himself, "I just knocked the engines out; they're trapped at the bottom of the river."

"You've trapped a boatload of carnivorous aliens in the middle of London?" Sarah asked incredulously.

"Yep," the Doctor replied smiling smugly. His smile faltered as Sarah looked at him keenly. "They can't get off their ship, so they'll be forced to survive on the pollution in the water, which is what they were supposed to be doing. Hopefully in a few generations they'll have evolved to be more peaceful."

The Doctor picked up his coffee cup and took a gulp. "It's gone cold. Any chance of a fresh one?" the look he gave Sarah left her in no doubt that he remembered what had happened the last time he'd asked her to make coffee.

Sarah smiled sweetly at him, "K-9, put the kettle on."

"Don't suppose you have anything stronger than lukewarm coffee?" Jack asked hopefully.

"I'm a journalist," Sarah replied, "of course I've got something stronger."

---

The TARDIS was parked next to the tube station three streets away from Sarah's house. The early morning commuters paid no attention to the antiquated looking police box, too busy inhaling Starbucks coffee and talking on mobile phones

"It was lovely to meet you. I've never met a girl who's knocked me out with her robot dog before," Jack gave a short bow and kissed the back of Sarah's hand. Sarah bit down on her tongue and sharply reminded herself that she was far too old to giggle out loud.

"He's not really a captain, you know," the Doctor said giving Jack a significant look. Jack took the hint and with a final wink at Sarah disappeared into the TARDIS.

"So…"

"So…"

"I suppose I'd better go."

"Yeah,"

"Unless…"

"Unless?"

"You could come, I mean if you wanted, I'd love to have you, and Jack seems quite taken with you."

"I get the feeling Jack's taken with a lot of people," Sarah replied.

"Lots of people. Men, women, vegetables."

"You always did know how to make a girl feel good."

"We could go to Florana if you liked, I did promise to take you there, okay it was two hundred years ago but a promise is a promise."

"I can't," Sarah would have thought it would be easier to turn him down knowing that her acceptance might lead to the total unravelling of the timeline, but it wasn't.

"Anyway, the next you has to run into me at the school. I've already ruined the surprise."

"I hate surprises anyway. Well…"

"Goodbye, I suppose."

"Bye. I'll see you after I've regenerated then, hopefully with much smaller ears."

"Hopefully after a long and chaotic life," Sarah said.

"Doctor," Jack had popped his head around the TARDIS door, "Rose is awake and wants to know if we're finished here."

Rose. Oh. Not such a long and chaotic life then. Sarah had been an undercover reporter for many years and had perfected a look of uninterested nonchalance, when the Doctor turned back to Sarah she had managed to wipe any traces of recognition from her face.

"Time to be off then," the Doctor said after Jack had vanished back into the TARDIS.

"Yeah, I should be getting back as well."

Sarah found herself engulfed in leather, wool and big eared northerner, "I meant it you know, about you being one of the best I've ever travelled with."

"Yeah, well," Sarah pulled back smiling, "you weren't so bad yourself."

The Doctor gave her one last brief hug then turned and loped into the TARDIS. The engines made their signature otherworldly wail as the TARDIS faded in and out of view until it finally vanished. Only one of the early morning commuters seemed to notice the police box disappearing, stopping to lift the lid of their cardboard cup and hesitantly sniff the contents.

Sarah took a deep breath and headed back towards her house, time to walk the dog and get on with that article that her editor was going to have her head if she didn't finish at some point today.

She wondered if that was the last time she was going say goodbye to the Doctor or if she was condemned to forever meet different incarnations of him. She paused for a moment to wonder why the image of a slightly oddly dressed cricketer with a stick of celery pinned to his front had popped unbidden into her mind. It was strange because she didn't know any cricketers, especially none who were prone to wearing vegetables.


End file.
